Things my mother taught me...

[mswizard]

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out." My personal favorite.

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. You weren't born in a barn"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

[Guest]

oh so true!!

Mswizard, I love this, may i borrow it please? It may work for a layout that I'm thinking of getting to if I can. It is soooo true to. Especially the very last one, wonder how many of u have heard this? I may be 42 but my mother has done almost all of those things to me.

Thank you for sharing

[mh51]

I remember EVERY one of those sayings.
Well done.....

[jazzieal]

LOL..well I guess our mothers went to the same parenting class...mine taught me all of those things too...Ive heard them all my life and Im afraid I probably used a few of them myself thru the years..thanks for sharing that... it was neat..brought back memories..

[crops2dawn]

OMG That is sooooo Funny!!!!!! and sooooo true! I have heard them all from Mother!! I too must confess that I have used plenty of them with my own children. I need to save this for them, so they can laugh when they are older!
cause I am certain they will be using this on their on children!

[Granny]

Well, it looses a little in the translationg, but my mother said the very same things in Spanish! It's a Communist plot, it has taken over the whole world!!!!



ps: mswizard, you nut, this belongs in the joke threat!

[mswizard]

Well, it looses a little in the translationg, but my mother said the very same things in Spanish! It's a Communist plot, it has taken over the whole world!!!!



ps: mswizard, you nut, this belongs in the joke threat!

Yeah..I know granny but It isn't really a joke...I was sittin here last night remembering or trying to put to memory everything about my mom I want to keep in my memory before we lose her so I guess it really didn't sound funny at the time...reading it today...is funny...Please forgive me granny, I guess I was feeling a little melancholy last night lol...but Im better today

[*eng*]

I love it, must copy and file that

[eye]

It is so strange but I have said most of those to my own kids ha ha.It must be programed in me by God. I get melencoly about my mum every once in awhile.I sure miss her.Your words made you cry and made others smile. Now that is somthing else.Your words are awesome.xo xo .Been thinking about yah and all that you have to go through. I am here for yah.

[OnieRN]

I absolutly love this!

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out." My personal favorite.

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. You weren't born in a barn"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

I was actually thinking that I'd like to do something with this for Mother's Day. Not sure yet what but I think it would be perfect!

[Granny]

Oh, ok, I'll forgive you, only cause you love your momma, and I love my momma, and mommas should be loved, and cause you're next, and because.... because.... because....

[mswizard]

Oh, ok, I'll forgive you, only cause you love your momma, and I love my momma, and mommas should be loved, and cause you're next, and because.... because.... because....

...Because of the wonderful things she does...we're off to see the wizard...
THANKS ALOT GRANNY!!! NOW I CAN'T GET THAT DARNED SONG OUTTA MY HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Marion]

Very good one Wizard!
Still waiting for the little one! I know you are due any moment. Hope to hear your good news soon!

[jazzieal]

Wow Wizard didnt know you wrote all these down yourself...great job...I bet somehow they get on the internet and one of these days we will be getting this in an email..lol..
having those feelings just goes along with the last days of pregnancy...hope the baby gets here soon...know you are getting anxious...good luck hon and let us know when the big event happens..love ya and big huggs to you..

[mswizard]

Wow Wizard didnt know you wrote all these down yourself...great job...I bet somehow they get on the internet and one of these days we will be getting this in an email..lol..
having those feelings just goes along with the last days of pregnancy...hope the baby gets here soon...know you are getting anxious...good luck hon and let us know when the big event happens..love ya and big huggs to you..

LOL.Jazz...Alot of them I had got in emails and such! I just changed some of the wording to say what my mom said hehe