Joke Of The Day!!!!!

[Nikita♥]

haha i like that one

[TerryW]

Angel,

I love it - that's my kind of woman!

Five tips for a woman....

1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.

2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.

3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you.

4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.

5. It is important that these four men don't know each other.

I thought you were describing me till I got to number 5.

Thanks for the laugh girls,
Terry.

[jazzieal]

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

[angelwithin]

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

[Marion]

Hysterical!!!!!

[nanwu]

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

Oh my gosh, I love blonde jokes (now that my hair has turned brown with age) and this one had me in stitches. I have a really good friend who is blonde and she is just everything that a true blonde should be. I can't wait to tell her this joke, and then spend the next hour explaining it to her lol. I cracked up because I could just invisage her doing exactly that. I love her though she is a very good friend

[Marion]

This is a specially formulated diet designed to help WOMEN cope with the stress that builds during the day


BREAKFAST
1 Grapefruit
1 slice whole-wheat toast
1 cup skim milk

LUNCH
1 small portion lean, steamed chicken with a cup of spinach
1 cup herbal tea
1 Bon Bon

AFTERNOON TEA
The rest of the Bon Bons
1 tub of Gino Ginelli ice cream with chocolate topping

DINNER
4 bottles of wine (red or white)
2 loaves garlic bread
1 family size Supreme pizza
3 snickers bars

LATE NIGHT SNACK
1 whole Woolworth's cheesecake (eaten directly from the
freezer)

REMEMBER :
"stressed" spelled backwards is "desserts"

Send this to four women and you will lose two kilograms

Send this to all
the women you know (or ever knew) and you will lose 10 kgs

IF you delete this message you will gain 10 kgs

Here's some advice for you:
Dr. Neil proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started.
So I looked around my house to see things I started and hadn't finished; and, before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Cardonay , a bole of Baileys, a butle of Kehuha, a pockage of Bob Bons , tha mainder of bot Prozic and Valum scriptins, the res of the Chesescke, some saltins an a bax a cholates .

Yu haf no idr who gud I fel.

*Peas sen dis orn to dem yu fee ar in ned ov inr pece

[*eng*]

This is a specially formulated diet designed to help WOMEN cope with the stress that builds during the day


BREAKFAST
1 Grapefruit
1 slice whole-wheat toast
1 cup skim milk

LUNCH
1 small portion lean, steamed chicken with a cup of spinach
1 cup herbal tea
1 Bon Bon

AFTERNOON TEA
The rest of the Bon Bons
1 tub of Gino Ginelli ice cream with chocolate topping

DINNER
4 bottles of wine (red or white)
2 loaves garlic bread
1 family size Supreme pizza
3 snickers bars

LATE NIGHT SNACK
1 whole Woolworth's cheesecake (eaten directly from the
freezer)

REMEMBER :
"stressed" spelled backwards is "desserts"

Send this to four women and you will lose two kilograms

Send this to all
the women you know (or ever knew) and you will lose 10 kgs

IF you delete this message you will gain 10 kgs

Here's some advice for you:
Dr. Neil proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started.
So I looked around my house to see things I started and hadn't finished; and, before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Cardonay , a bole of Baileys, a butle of Kehuha, a pockage of Bob Bons , tha mainder of bot Prozic and Valum scriptins, the res of the Chesescke, some saltins an a bax a cholates .

Yu haf no idr who gud I fel.

*Peas sen dis orn to dem yu fee ar in ned ov inr pece

[Granny]

ROTFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, Marion, you're priceless. This one takes the cake!

[jazzieal]

Marion..thanks..thats just my kind of menu...love it..hahahaha