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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
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    Default Joke Of The Day!!!!!

    One day while he was at the track betting on the ponies and nearly losing his shirt, Mitch noticed a priest who stepped out onto the track and blessed the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the 4th race.
    Lo and behold, that horse -- a very long shot -- won the race.
    Mitch was most interested to see what the priest did the next race. Sure enough, the priest stepped out onto the track as the 5th race horses
    lined up, and placed a blessing on the forehead of one of the horses.
    Mitch made a beeline for the window and placed a small bet on the horse.
    Again, even though it was another long shot, the horse the priest had blessed won the race.
    Mitch collected his winnings and anxiously waited to see which horse the priest would bless for the 6th race.
    The priest showed, blessed a horse, Mitch bet on it, and it won!
    Mitch was elated! As the day went on, the priest continued blessing horses, and they always came in first.
    Mitch began to pull in some serious money, and by the last race, he knew his wildest dreams were going to come true. He made a quick stop at the ATM, withdrew his savings, and awaited the priest's blessing that would
    tell him which horse to bet on.
    True to his pattern, the priest stepped out onto the track before the last race and blessed the forehead, eyes, ears, and hooves of one of the horses.
    Mitch bet every cent, and watched the horse come in dead last. Mitch was
    dumbfounded. He made his way to the track, and when he found the priest, he demanded, "What happened, Father? All day long you blessed horses and they won. The last race, you blessed a horse and he lost. Now, thanks to you, I've lost all my savings!!"
    The priest nodded wisely and said, "That's the problem with Protestants--you can't tell the difference between a simple blessing and the Last Rites!"



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  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2006
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    Wink Giggle

    Very cute Granny!
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  3. #3
    Join Date
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    Default Rofl

    That is toooo funny Granny Thanks for sharing.


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  4. #4
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    Default Thanks!

    HAHAHAHA..Guess I'll watch closer next time I see a Priest blessing any horses I decide to bet on!

  5. #5
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    Default

    Ah, ladies (and I use the term loosely!), thanks for the comments, but you're suppossed to be posting jokes!

    This is our new, Joke of the Day threat!!!



    Marion , Steve, Moonbeam, Ladybug, Wolvsie, Fourfoxes, Vanessa, PinkLollipop and Winnie49 are my buddies!!!

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  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
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    Default

    Love it Granny, I will have to search my archives...

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
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    Default Kinda fits right now lol

    A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She
    noticed the man opposite

    her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to
    another seat.

    This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved
    again.

    The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move,
    the man burst out laughing,

    she complained to the driver and he had the man
    arrested.

    The case came up in court.

    The judge asked the man (about 20 Years old)what he
    had to say for himself.

    The man replied,

    "Well your Honor, it was like this:


    When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but
    notice her condition.

    She sat under a sweets sign that said, "The Double
    Mint Twins are coming" and I grinned.


    Then she moved and sat under a sign that said,

    "Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling", and I had
    to smile.

    Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that
    said,

    "William's Big Stick Did the Trick", and I could
    hardly contain myself.

    BUT, your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and
    sat

    under a sign that said, "Goodyear Rubber could have
    prevented this Accident."

    I just lost it."


    >"CASE DISMISSED"

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
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    Wisconsin USA
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    Default

    Heard this one before, but it still cracks me up!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Alabama
    Posts
    1,999

    Default just had to have a blonde joke !!!

    One day a blonde lady was shopping..she wandered into a hardware store and was looking around..The clerks sees her and asks if he can help her....well, she said, what is this thing, clerk told her, its a thermos bottle mam...oh she said and what does does it do...well mam, it keeps cold things cold and hot things hot...oh I have to have one of these she says...next day she goes to work and carries her new thermos bottle...her boss (who is also blonde) sees her thermos bottle and asks her what it is...she replies its a thermos bottle and it keeps cold things cold and hot things hot..he looks at her with this amazed look on his face and asks..what have you got in there..she looks at him with a look of sheer joy on her face and replies..."Two popcicles and a cup of coffee"
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  10. #10
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    Mar 2006
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    Default

    ROFL!!!!!! I love blonds! Good one, Jazz!


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