Joke Of The Day!!!!!

[TNLori]

An elderly man had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond, fixed up really nice, along with some picnic tables and some apple and peach trees. The pond was shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. When he came closer, he realized it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end to shield themselves.

One of the women shouted to him, 'We're not coming out until you leave!' The old man frowned and replied, 'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.'

Holding the bucket up he said, 'I'm here to feed the alligator.'

Old men may move slow but can still think fast.

[mswizard]

With all the new technology regarding fertility, recently a 65-year-old friend of mine was able to give birth. When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, I went to visit.

'May I see the new baby?' I asked

'Not yet,' She said 'I'll make coffee and we can visit for a while first.'

Thirty minutes had passed, and I asked, 'May I see the new baby now?'

'No, not yet,' She said.

After another few minutes had elapsed,

I asked again, 'May I see the baby now?'

'No, not yet,' replied my friend.

Growing very impatient, I asked, 'Well, when can I see the baby?'

'WHEN HE CRIES!' she told me.

'WHEN HE CRIES?' I demanded.. 'Why do I have to wait until he CRIES?'

'BECAUSE I FORGOT WHERE I PUT HIM, O.K.?!!'

[Granny]

http://www.milkandcookies.com:80/link/138148/detail/

[Granny]

Always keep several get well cards on the mantle.....
so if unexpected guests arrive,
they will think you've been sick and unable to clean.

[RachellIowa]

Granny
love the idea but my little ones would have to blurt out no mommy hasn't been sick just to much time on the computer.

[Granny]

Ahhhhhhhhh, kids, got to love the little monsters!

[Granny]

Italian Tomato Garden

An old Italian lived alone in New Jersey . He wanted to
plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and
described his predicament:

Dear Vincent, I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks
like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this
year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a
garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would
be over.. I know you would be happy to dig the plot
for me, like in the old days.

Love,

Papa

A few days later he received a letter from his son.
Dear Pop,

Don't dig up that garden. That's where the bodies are buried.

Love,

Vinnie

At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police
arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any
bodies. They apologized to the old man and left.

That same day the old man received another letter from his
son.

Dear Pop,

Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.

Loveyou,

Vinnie

[mswizard]

LOL...I gotta tell my Friend Tony Lizzio that one..his dad plants a garden every year and Tony brings me tomatoes!!! He's gonna love this one! Thanks Granny