Joke Of The Day!!!!!

[Marion]

ROTF....I can actually see this happening to someone! HAHAHAHA You are soooo funny Jazz...thanks~!

Something like this actually happened to my poor Grandma, She was 84 years old when she came over to visit us from the Netherlands. This was her first ride on a big airplane. She had to go the the bathroom on the plane. As she finishes her job, she looks over and sees another lady right next to her. She says " I am so sorry ma'm I didn't see you" then she found out it was herself in the mirror! We teased her for a long time!

[GramCracker]

awwwwww..............
poor grandma !!!! LOL

[GramCracker]

20 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.


2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.


3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.


4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."


5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.


6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds"


7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."


8. Don t use any punctuation


9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.


10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat with a serious face.



11 Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."


12. Sing Along At The Opera


13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme



14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.


15. Five Days In Advance , Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.


16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.


17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"


18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"


19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."


20. Share this list with a friend.


Keep Smiling..........................

[Granny]

Oh, darn... Life is good!!!! I love this place! Marion, something like that happened to my uncle. He was on his way to the bathroom and saw a man in their bedroom. He started punching him. Good thing the mirror didn't brake!!!

[Granny]

Mammograms
Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there
is no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for
a week preceding the exam and doing the following
exercises, you will be totally prepared for the test and
best of all, you can do these simple exercises right in
and around your home.

EXERCISE ONE:

Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast in
door. Shut the door as hard as possible and lean on the
door for good measure.

Hold that position for five seconds. Repeat again in case
the first time wasn't effective enough.

EXERCISE TWO:

Visit your garage at 3AM when the temperature of the
cement floor is just perfect. Take off all your clothes
and lie comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged
under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly
back the car up until your breast is sufficiently
flattened and chilled. Turn over and repeat with the
other breast.

EXERCISE THREE:

Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist.
Invite a stranger into the room. Press the bookends
against one of your breasts.

Smash the bookends together as hard as you can. Set up an
appointment with the stranger to meet next year and do it
again.

YOU ARE TOTALLY PREPARED!

AND , just a thought for all the women out there........

MENtal illness, MENstrual cramps, MENtal breakdown,
MENopause............

Ever notice how all of women's problems start with
men?.........And

When we have real trouble it's HISterectomy!!!!

Send this to all women to have a laugh AND, don't forget
to have a mammogram!!!!!!
A Friend Is Like A Good Bra...
Hard to Find
Supportive
Comfortable
Always Lifts You Up
Never Lets You Down or Leaves You Hanging
And Is Always Close To Your Heart!!!

Share this with a friend!
I DID

[mswizard]

Oh good Lord Granny I can't stop laughing...it HURTS!!!!!

[*eng*]

LOL Granny

[TerryW]

And of course, hetrosexual men feel great comfort during a prostate examination. As my GP prepared me for my first one he explained, "Terry, this will be a little uncomfortable - well actually it's going to feel like having a pole shoved up your bum - well... a Pole, a Croation, a Greek - it doesn't matter really".

Actually I recall as a young teenager overhearing a comment from an older male that a woman taking a heavy blow to the breast causes similar pain to when a male tales a blow to the testicles - ever since then, whenever I hear the word mammmm, maamoo, mmammoommooo - breast examination, my eyes water.

Do you know the real reason why women have the children in a marriage? Men put up with enough pain and suffering as it is.
Regards,
Terry.

[crops2dawn]

20 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.


2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.


3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.


4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."


5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.


6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds"


7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."


8. Don t use any punctuation


9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.


10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat with a serious face.



11 Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."


12. Sing Along At The Opera


13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme



14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.


15. Five Days In Advance , Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.


16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.


17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"


18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"


19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."


20. Share this list with a friend.


Keep Smiling..........................

Oh these are soooo funny! Last week Me and my daughter went through the McDonalds drive -thru, after ordering I said i wanted that to go! the look on my daughters face was priceless!! She kept her hands on her face until we drove away!HAHAHAHAHAHA She refuses to go anywhere with me! LOL Thats one way to get rid of em! LOL

[Marion]

Oh oh, here we go again. Girls we are going to have to retrain this fellow. We went through this before, but here you go TerryW......

Do you know why God made the Woman?

He looked at the man and then thought "I can do better then that!"