We have some bad news, and some good news.... First, the bad news...
Dear beloved, we are gathered here today to bid farewell to our beloved Soap... "Days of our Scraps".
Our ratings have been slipping, and our sponsors refuse to patronise one more season. We would like to thank all of you who have faithfully and loyally supported our program.
Now, the good news....
We have been contacted by a leading manufacter, who is eager to sponsor our brand new dramatic drama.... "Gone with the Scraps". The name of our new sponsor is.... "Bouncer... The Quicker Picker Scrapper".
Our new sponsor are so impressed with our old cast, they have agreed to retain it in its entirety, albeit with some brain washing here and there. Our dramatic drama takes place in the world famous fast scraps restaurant Windey's... Our stellar cast in no order whatsoever is....
Moonbeam, Queen of the Moonshine, head waitress at Windey's.
Saccanon, head of the hardware department at the local Home Ripoff.
Eye Pickaboo, from the ICU department at the near by "Crisis Permanente."
CropstoDawn, head of public relations in the scrappers conglomerate "CroptillMidanightonly".
Jazzieal, Private Secratary to the Head of Security at "On the Brink" Security Agency.
Steve, Head of Security at "On the Brink" Security Agency.
Smile, Head Detective at "On the Brink" Security Agency.
Cntrywoman72, Owner of the local watering hole... "Dry Springs".
Marion, Head Shrink at "Crisis Permanente".
Mustava Leik, Owner and operator of "Roto Puter".
Onie, Head nurse of the Emergency Room at "Crisis Permanente".
Ladybug, #1 exterminator at "Bugs Unlimited".
Granny, Head coach of the famous "Geritol Raiders".
We invite you to tune in, same time, same channel, for the opening episode of "Gone with the Scraps."
Granny the Announcer.