Letters to the Editor,
Scrapsville Morning Post
Central Avenue
Scrapsville,
Planet Earth 987654321.
Dear Editor,
Although a resident of Scrapsville for only a short time, I have come to consider the place my home now. I have settled down just outside of town on a little farm and besides growing vegatables and herbs I also retrain apes to become 'Seeing Eye Apes' (I am now Nationally Accredited and Internationally Certifiable).
Recently I found it necessary to temporarily leave town due to personal reasons and have been away for quite a few weeks attending to these issues. I have now had reports from a neighbour (via e-mail) that there has recently been a great deal of activity at my farm, activity that has been described to me as - 'anti-social' in nature.
More specifically, my neighbour has mentioned - bonfire's, loud music, partying, some of my crops being ripped up and destroyed and even looting. In addition, I have been informed that my apes have been harrassed and that each ape has had a pair of bright pink, dark sunglasses placed over their eyes (apparently held on by rubber bands of all things - apes are allergic to rubber which is why you never see them wearing wetsuits).
To say that I am shocked is an understatement and I felt that I should write to you regarding this blatent vandalism and, to warn other residents of this wonderful town to be vigilant and to guard against this type of behaviour which in my mind is nothing short of pure tomfoolery!
I will be returning home within the next few days and can only hope that any damage done is repairable.
Yours truly,
DISAPPOINTED.
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