I wanted to let you know why I haven't been on much. I'm traveling on a road no one should ever have to see let alone travel
About a month ago, my 14 year old niece decided to end her life because no one loved her, no one wanted her (She was dating a 23 yr old man who had convinced her of these things). She took enough different drugs to kill quite a few people so I was told in the ICU (methadone, sleeping pills, oxycontin, and a few others I had never heard of). I sat and watched the Doctors fight for her life for what seemed like a lifetime but was only 2 weeks. She pulled through (we aren't sure about how much brain damage she has) only to look me in the eyes and ask "WHY?" Needless to say, My sweet, beautiful niece is in a mental hospital for a very long time because she STILL wants to die. This isn't the worse..... Her mother, my little sister is a prescription "junkie", she has been for well over 25 years. It started with pain killers and ended up methadone. 2 weeks ago I got a phone call some some girl I didn't know (on my answering machine) telling me that I should know that my sister was in the hospital. I didn't believe it. Later that evening my younger brother called me to tell me "Did you know your sister is on life support?" I again, didn't believe him as he's always been the family joker. So I decided to call the hospital where they live and the switchboard operator said yes, she is indeed in the hospital. I asked to be patched to her room and he said he couldn't but he would switch me to ICU. This is where the story gets real bad.
My sisters ICU nurse gets on the phone and says she's soooo glad I called, they have been trying to get ahold of me since FRIDAY!!!! (It's now Tuesday) I was told that my sister OD'd and was on life support. (I am her health care proxy as well as her 'keeper'. I got to the hospital in 1.5 hours. I was asked all sorts of questions about my sister. Would she try to kill herself? Would she hurt herself? Would someone want to hurt her? Soooo many questions and I didn't understand WHY they were asking them. Finally they let me in to see her. I walk in the room and breathed a sigh of relief. That's not my little sister!..The nurse assured me that it was indeed her. My baby sister was covered from the top of her head to the tips of her toes in bruises. Had she been in a car wreak???? No....someone did this to her....I had to ask if she'd been raped. Now I am sick to my stomach, wanting to throw up. I found out later that her husband (whom she hasn't lived with in over 12 years) had done it and was arrested for it. She was scared and was afraid to sleep so she took muscle relaxers but because she's an addict they didn't work so she took more, and more and more. Her older daughter found her, dragged her out to the car, smashed her face in the door (long story for the hatred) at which point my sister lost some of her bottom teeth. I did the hardest thing I have had to do in a long time. I had her commited to a hospital near me. She hates me for it but I need to be selfish and take a break from all the death and drugs and BS my family has been putting me through. She is in better shape than her daughter. Hopefully she will kick her habit and become the mother her girls need...GOD, I hope so!!!!!!
So, there you have it, why I'm not on much. I tried getting Mikki to send you a note but the only thing she will go on is facebook and play games lol..kids! I hope everyone is well and having a good year so far. I know mine will get better soon hehe...has to right? Love to all!
PS...on a happy note..Emily is officially walking now!!!!!